CatDog Wiki
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Script[]

Winslow: (clears throat) Good evening, and welcome to Winslow's Home Videos. I'm your host, Winslow, and I have painstakingly collected some of the more pandamoments around the CatDog house, like...breakfast, for instance.

(The TV turns on. Cat and Dog are at the breakfast table. Cat is reading the newspaper while Dog is having tacos, inspecting a bottle of hot sauce)

Dog: Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!

(Dog is shaking hot sauce all over his tacos. Some of the sauce burns Cat's newspaper)

Cat: Hey, hey! Easy on the hot sauce, Dog! It may be going in your mouth, but remember, it has to pass through our colon.

(Cut back to Dog. The hot sauce is flowing freely, until it empties)

Dog: Okey-phinoeky, Cat! Hmmm...empty?

(Dog eats the hot sauce in one bite. It passes through CatDog's colon, and causes Cat's jaws to become stuffed, then he turns blue and breathe fire, burning Dog to ashes)

Dog: Mmmm...nice and zesty! (his ashes fall down, followed by his eyes and teeth)

Winslow: And what's more relaxing on a sunny afternoon than a quiet bike ride in the park?

(Video cuts to the park, where CatDog are on a bike ride)

Cliff: (from a distance) Hey, get that catbutt!

(Cat stops the bike. The Greaser Dogs are going to chase CatDog)

Cat: (yelps) Get the lead out, Dog! (Dog starts pedaling really fast)

(CatDog and the Greaser Dogs are approaching a truck. Cat yelps, and CatDog get caught in the crane, which swings them. whacking off Cliff and Lube, onto CatDog's bike. Meanwhile, Shriek stops her bike as CatDog ride into her, catapulting her into Cliff and Lube. The Greaser Dogs continue their ride until they hit a sewer, which knocks them off and sends them into a wall. CatDog pass by them, but they crash into a stop sign, which gives the Greaser Dogs a chance to start beating them up)

(Cut to Winslow smoking a pipe. The video continues as the Greaser Dogs are beating CatDog up, the TV is bouncing for some reason.)

Winslow: Ahhh...there's nothing like a nice warm bath to soothe your frazzled nerves.

(In the bathroom, Dog is taking a bath, pretending to be a sailor, while Cat is reading a book)

Dog: (holding up a boat) Say it, Cat. Say it!

Cat: (sighs) Full speed ahead there, Sailor Dog.

Dog: Aye, aye, Captain Cat! (bubbles appear) Uh-oh! Trouble ahead, Captain! (Dog puts his hand in the water and pulls out a squid) Squid attack! (starts splashing with the squid, making Cat wet)

Cat: (stammers) Dog, please! Enough with the squid! You're getting me wet!

(Dog turns around with an embarrassed look. He then dives into the water. A shadow appears as Cat is still reading, Dog is forming a tidal wave)

Dog: Hi ho diggety, Captain Cat! It's a tidal wave!

(Cat screams. The wave covers him. Cut to outside of the bathroom, where the wave busts through the door and starts to run through the house)

(Cut to Winslow. The video continues as the wave and CatDog are running through the house.)

Winslow: You see, CatDog's not wacky all the time. Au contraire. (The TV turns off) These guys have real emotional depth, and pathos...and...

(Winslow starts screaming as the wave from the video is approaching. It covers Winslow, crashing through the curtains as well as the TV. The camera pans to the left, where the wave and CatDog head out the door, to reveal Winslow hanging upside down by his shoelace)

Winslow: Um, ahem. Uh, that's it for this episode of Winslow's Home Videos. Hello, a little help here?

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